Why a Memoir?

There is a road from the eye to the heart that does not go through the intellect,
G. K. Chesterton
The Defendant

In recent years, many "ordinary” people—folks of all ages and occupations—have turned to memoir writing. Their motives are as varied as the memoirs themselves.

• Some find the experience therapeutic—an exercise in soul-searching, self-discovery, emotional bravery, and moral courage.

• Others wish to create a family heirloom—a story that will be passed on through the generations.

• Still others wish to more fully reveal themselves—to communicate their true selves and essences.

Many memoirists simply wish to gain clarity and coherence—to acquire perspective on a life experience that has at times seemed random and disjointed. For many, the memoir writing experience helps gather life themes and events into a more comprehensible whole. It helps the writer see life as series of unfolding, linked events—a story that possesses a continuous and coherent line. Virginian Woolf, describing the pleasure of seeing the patterns in one’s experience, put it this way:

Perhaps this is the strongest pleasure known to me. It is the rapture I get when in writing I seem to be discovering what belongs to what; making a scene come right; making a character come together. From this I reach what I might call a philosophy; at any rate it is a constant idea of mine; that behind the cotton wool [of daily life] is hidden a pattern; that we—I mean all human beings—are connected with this; that the whole world is a work of art; that we are parts of the work of art. But there is no Shakespeare, there is no Beethoven; . . . we are the words; we are the music; we are the thing itself.

Many family members feel a strong need (indeed, an obligation) to capture their parents' or grandparents’ stories—or the experiences of children, siblings, or friends. Others feel a need to explore their motivations and significant life experiences. Motives vary, and they’re often mixed—and they needn't be perfectly defined. A well-understood purpose, however, will help shape the memoir's organization and content. A good “purpose statement” will help the writer begin organizing thoughts, memories, and materials.

Many would-be memoirists undervalue their stories. They too quickly conclude that their life story lacks substance. Besides, they say to themselves, I’m not a story teller. I'm not capable of writing my story—or any part of it.